Is it bad luck to be superstitious? One-Liners Quotes - BrainyQuote. Be beautiful." h/t r/oneliners. See more ideas about jokes, one liner jokes, one liner. I do all my own stunts but never intentionally. Inspirational quotes and motivational quotes have the power to get us through a bad week, and can even give us the courage to pursue our life's dreams. Your yearbook quote is the ultimate opportunity for you to animate your impressive cultural knowledge. Only dead fish go with the flow. I want to live forever. You have two parts of brain, 'left' and 'right'. "The one thing I do not want to be called is ‘first lady.' Worrying works! Absolutely hillarious motivational one-liners! Don’t think of yourself as an organic … Please share this post with your friends: This site uses cookies to improve your experience. The trouble with the rat raceis that even if you win, you're still a rat.~ Lily Tomlin. See TOP 10 motivational one liners. Have a look at these witty one liners. Love deeply. We celebrate Joan Rivers' wit with her 11 best one-liners. So what will keep these famous lines in history is not only the quotes themselves, but also the moments when they were delivered. No one’s listening until you fart. They are not only hilarious, but can help send the sarcastic remarks and messages in a light way. - Caterina Fake This site uses cookies to improve your experience. 105 of the best short jokes and one-liners to get you laughing in seconds “I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. All sorted from the best by our visitors. Log in. As Joan Rivers dies, look back over her best one liners. Take chances and never have regrets. The largest collection of stupid one-line jokes in the world. Don’t trust children. ~ George Orwell. It sounds like a saddle horse," Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis famously said about her title. The farther away the future is, the better it looks. Some clever one liners which are sure to tickle the fancies of those who enjoy word play, and that too with a comical twist. Be brilliant. 4 "Bill Clinton is a man who thinks … If one is lucky, a solitary fantasy can totally transform one million realities. I wasn’t even listening. Be safety conscious. See TOP 10 dirty one liners. What Your Yearbook Quote Says About You: 55 Brilliant and Funny Yearbook Quotes To Inspire You . So kiss slowly. They all made me smile and I hope at least one … Brilliant one liner quotes: When in doubt, mumble. I want to live forever. "When I'm sittin' down to dinner with the family, stuff just pops out," Berra insisted during a recent interview, The Associated Press reported. “I went to buy a candle holder but the store did not have one, so I brought a cake.” – Mitch Hedberg “This jacket is dry clean only, which means it’s dirty.” – Mitch Hedberg “I could be a morning person — but only if morning started at noon!” ― Carol Storm “Don’t waste water on washing your shirt, use photoshop!” I’m going to stop putting things off, starting tomorrow. Brilliant one liner quotes: When in doubt, mumble. Quotes tagged as "one-liner" Showing 1-30 of 141 “Life is too short to be anything but happy. They all made me smile and I hope at least one or two of them will make you smile too. And for more great zingers from the halls of power, here are The 25 All-Time Greatest One-Liners by Politicians. 82.63 % / 949 votes. Funny QuotesLife QuotesIndividuality Quotes 21 brilliant one-liners that will make you smile Here are 21 brilliant one-liners. Today’s brilliant one liner quotes: 668 – The neighbour of the beast. Russell Crowe's Maximus gives zero you know whats at this point in "Gladiator," remaining defiant. Have fun! The 21 Best One-Liner Jokes Ever. Be daring. Baseball legend Yogi Berra died Tuesday at age 90, and while many will certainly remember him as a 10-time World Series champion, many will also remember him for his brilliant one-liners. 9 Brilliant One Liner Quotes Your secret’s safe with me. Is it bad luck to be superstitious? Round is a shape isn’t it? ♦ The key to happiness is self-delusion. Only dead fish go with the flow. I wasn’t even listening. Maybe if we start telling people the brain is an app they will start using it. 1. Be strong. If you can’t convince them, confuse them. Your secret’s safe with me. Absolutely hillarious dirty one-liners! 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Constipated people don’t give a crap. 40 Of History’s Most Brilliant One-Liners Ever Quoted. The world can always use more kindness. In the left side, there's nothing right. One one-liner a day keeps the doctor away…so, here is a shortlist of the best one-liners you can find on the internet today. Brilliant one-liners: I hate people who use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious. Jul 3, 2018 - Explore Melissa Winner's board "Jokes", followed by 111 people on Pinterest. And as you can notice, there aren’t too many Paris Hiltons, Justin Biebers and Barack Obamas around here. Brilliant one-liner quotes: Everything’s difficult before it’s easy. I hate Russian dolls. If only we could invoice people for wasting our time. I don't like hip dialogue and one-liners and all that sort of cool, sophomoric comedy. It's just not for me. I’m in shape. It was a line so epic, Jay-Z used it to open one of the songs on his "retirement" album. Constipated people don’t give a crap. See more ideas about me quotes, words, great quotes. They are all perfectly true though. ♦ Pacifism is objectively pro-Fascist…”he that is not with me is against me.”. Absolutely hillarious attitude one-liners! So far, so good. Spread some happiness with these. Aug 4, 2018 - We all need a laugh and good one-liners can offer a quick laugh. I don’t know why” Master of the … "Dream, struggle, create, prevail. Aug 15, 2019 - Explore Dee B's board "Brilliant one liners" on Pinterest. 82.54 % / 1928 votes. Oct 28, 2018 - Here are 21 brilliant one-liners. —Maya Angelou. 10 of the best quotes of wisdom that’ll make you think, 10 quotes of wisdom to motivate and inspire, 101 of the best mottos for life to inspire you, 33 life lessons learned that are best learned early, Why an investment in knowledge pays dividends, Here’s why the only disability in life is a bad attitude, 101 Mottos for life to claim for your own and to inspire you, Steve Jobs’ Top 10 Rules For Success to inspire you, 4 cornerstones for how to speak so people will listen, 13 tips for improving your personal happiness, 25 inspirational stories of people going from rags to riches, Why you should teach your children that failure doesn’t matter, 33 funny jokes for 5 year olds that might tickle adults too, 15 Quotes by Amy Poehler which reflect her philosophy. Benjamin Disraeli (Coningsby, 1844) Courage is found in unlikely places. Heraclitus (On the Universe – Fragment 6) Love is not consolation, it is light. 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Log in. See TOP 10 attitude one liners. Mike Myers as Austin Powers makes me laugh - that was genius - and Daffy Duck makes me laugh, but I like odd behavior. All sorted from the best by our visitors. If only we could invoice people for wasting our time. Always give 100 %, unless you’re donating blood.